Okt
10

My Cats and I
von furb.

 

My Cats and I
Normal Madness for Some Quirky Tattoos

This story could have begun like many others do. I might start telling about fate, childhood, abuse, misunderstanding, loneliness, and identity. Yet I would not find nothing new in it. For more than once, I would have had to read such stories working as some cheap excuse for even more misery. With other words, tit for tat. Then things might change but hardly better. That is the reason why I take a start by quoting Thomas Jefferson, "Do you wonder who you are? Don't ask but act! Your action shall show!"

Nothing else matters. Those words are not mine, and I feel them yet. Cos the truth is the more I ask, the less I know. This is how I feel. As though I be without being me. Mad? It is. All the way. I would not be me if I did not try checking it out! Daring to be me. What else should I wait for? Truly enough. I am only afraid of losing myself in the normal madness of mankind. I understand my tattoos be the answer. I figure you know what I mean, do you not? I do. Now.

In quest for my self:

If I knew then whatbI know today, so everything would have happened differently. Or not at all. No question no more! Anyhow.

Live your dream instead of dreaming your life!

It is mere fortune. When you are born. Where you grow up. - You have got no choice yet. Nor can you decide on your own who you are really. Let me point that out for once. I do not want to interpret.

I as a normal human being would get it someday, somehow: I want it! And I first did not feel good about it.

Cos I used to think the way they had taught me to: Nobody with some healthy mind would ever dream of images like that! My dream of having them tattooed must have been perverted, right? I was thought to be somewhat unnormal.

Nobody has ever told not to do so. That is too true. No-one but me. Nobody would say to me, "Make it so!" Either. It was only me. Now I know it better. Right cos I did do it. I dare to be myself. This is it.

And the end. I could stop writing right here. I am. That is all. What more do you want, man?

It would be a different story. Not mine. Since I used to rate everything for good or bad, I found myself close to despair, so I keep on. Somebody alike may have got a problem like this whereas somebody else wonders how the fuck I could do that. When you just laugh out loud - laughter is better than cry, I guess.

Everything is alright I think the same, I feel like you, I understand it as well. And, at the very same time, I am thinking about my own part, feeling fucking brave and proud of my boldness, and I comprehend. Grateful for everything!

To be whole:

Held on to those thoughts, to be whole has always been that important to me, too. Of course! Just human. We men ask for the reason for what we cannot understand. I could also say we are cos we want to understand. Different from most of the other animals do we wonder why!

Truly enough, our curiosity is nothing but a waste of time. For what is truth? And, to be sincere, will you ever stop asking? Even after having found an answer?

Well, I am ordinary enough to ask the more questions. On and on. One answer provoces new questions only. And so forth.

So I might spend all day being busy nonstop. While knowing not to get the last solution anytime. No, Sir, never! What a contradiction!

Not the first one I am facing. Yeah, my goddamn curiosity. Curious of news. New knowledge. I am a curiousity by myself!

Go on!

And so on. And so far. Farther. Far away. From my self. Anywhere in the nowhere. There I hold on. At once. Out of breath. Run away from myself. Run into the distance. Lost.

I feel like drowning in an ocean of question marks.

Where am I? Is there anybody? Hello?

What the hell! Shit! Oh, my God! Go, call Him right now! Then let me know what He revealed to you!

What? Really? You are kidding! You have spoken to Him? Mr KnowItAll?

And what is His revelation?

"The number you have called is unavailable!"

Lilalo. I am going mad. After trying everythung possible - The answer to all questions: There is none! Nothing.

New question, Nonsense everywhere?

Stop it! Hang on. Shut the fuck up. Listen, man!

That so much feels this contradictory - I have told you already. I am neither the first nor the last one eager on solving discepancy. Just natural. Bigger brains than me have been doing so for the last three thousand years or so. They call it dialectics. And the old Greeks also saw the coin has got two side which is the very same!

To say it a little less complicated, I mean in, my case, my normal side and my fur affinity belong together. They are one, indeed. I have just made the mistake to divide them. That is, to tear myself apart.

Most of us furries share these experience: There is the ordinary person having learned where to stand. And feeling like a lion is so strange! How come you feel good wearing a plush suite? Shame on you!

A lion cannot think. It has not got any culture. It is silly, evil, and dangerous! Man-eating. Kills lion kittens. Just in order to mate its lioness a bit earlier. Animal, yes, bestial. Are you a beast?

No. I am human. A man in our Western civilization. Cultivated. Aware if what is to be done. As we are the good ones. As God's image! The crown of creation.

Normal madness:

We do the work we do not want
To earn the money we do not have
To buy the things we do not need
To impress the neighbors we do not like.

That is the point of the normal way of life. Is this mine?

No! Do I want it? It is normal anyway! I be better like a lion. He gives a shit of all the money. He takes only what he needs really. Nothing more. He does not destroy the world he lives in. He fights but he does not distinct himself. He never hates.

The animal alone does not do evil cos it cannot know of. It has not got the recognition of good and evil. It does not think usually. A lion never does. It alway lives for its instinct. There is no intelligence. Without self-consciousness. Rather dolphins and orcas, or chimps and bonobos have got that ability. And you.

And I. That is us. Man and beasts. Not anybody. Just us. That is way it goes.

We the human race on earth. Where we live in peace, freedom, and wealth. I was born there. Not the first, or the last, not even the only one. And yet unique. A person. With a personality. Quite normal.

Europe these days. Democratic and capitalist. Nothing the best but the best achievable. Ever done thus far. With values and ethics. Nations of law. Their citizens hold a civil right as well as a social duty.

Your freedom of thought. You are allowed to express your opinion. Here is just the difference with most other countries! And do we make use if our freedom?

But we are sitting in a closet. Carelessly. Everything is so normal. Our thoughts are lying separately in drawers. We think, so we are. Ordinary.

We think. We are thought to be normal. Beware of being differently! Do not you dare to think too much! That is perverted!

It is for the birds
Whom are eaten by the cat.
Cos in case
Somebody be
Not black
Or white
Not even
Would I know
His name
Nothing
I give
He is different
Got to leave.

Out!
No room
In the closet
It is enough
N is for normality
Not for naughty
Nauthty is for the devil
Usually

Just as usual I think, too. I am used to thinking.

There is everything in its box. Ordered alphabetically. Alpha to Omega. A is abnormal. O like ordinary. Et CeTe ra.

Well. Here is an F. Let us see - F means freak. Does not fit. Got to be excluded. Isolated. Do not you mix it up. Got it?

What is that?
I some happy kittens.
But why do they have got swollen nuts?
Ask them! Cats do not speak usually. They have not told me either.
They are maybe going nuts by stupid questions. Or they have got balls to show. I guess they are just playing around.
Which game? What is the biggest?
Are they possibly compensating for your intolerance?
I find them obscene, exhibitionist, and perverted!
When you think so, I do not. They are beautiful. True worx of the art.
Besides, I find you erophobic, intolerant, and mendacious.
I am not lying. I am saying what I think.
And you do not want to see. Then go! Here they are.
I believe you not to want it, either. That is the lie of yours.
If you want to go, go. The rest is to tolerate us.
We will stand it! You, too?

That is the way it is. Man love, man hate. But we do live. Peace is what we want. Each man has got the same right of his own way of life. If you do not harm anybody else, you are okay.

Go for it!

Now I am certain. I spent years and years torturing myself by too many questions.

What do they think of me? Am I normal?
Does it matter?
Who am I? What do I live for?
Those are good questions!

Truly enough, there is problem in questioning. So long as you ask for the right things.

Though. I did not get that. I do no regret. Cos I would not know now. Otherwise.

I am whole

I am kind and sweet. There is nothing wrong with me. On the contrary. I am coherent.
And in touch with myself. With my feelings. My needs. That is a great quality.

I do not worry. Can talk freely. Quite open. Curious. I try not to judge at once. Sometimes I do. Alright.

Are we normal? No matter.
Are we exhibitionists? For sure.
Have we got our fantasies or fetishes? Yes, we do, and so what?
As long as we do not hurt ourselves or anybody else, I think we are healthy.
And quirky.

Express yourself, my friend. Respect and pretend to be respected.
And let people say what they want. Cos you do not need them to be happy.
Be you.

furb






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